Calling all Oracle DBA's

[Understudy]

Please please please, go out to the nearest hardware store, buy the biggest, most powerfull nail gun they have, go back into work.

Hold the gun in your right hand, put your left hand over the nearest power point, and fire nails through your hand until you're dead.!

I hate you all!
:madred: :madred: :madred: :mad: :mad: :mad: :madred: :madred: :madred:




:cry: :cry: :cry:

[tenebra_uk]

Ooooh, someone is having a good day :lolblue:

[Understudy]

In a word:


NO


:lightbulb

[tenebra_uk]

Run around in circles shouting, they'll send you home for the day :biggringr

[Understudy]

Howabout I set fire to a DBA, they'll run around in circles shouting, then either get sent home, sent to hospital or die. :devil:

Either way, they'll have to replace the useless git, hopefully with someone competent and I might get some work done.

Then I'll be in a better mood.
:biggringr

[tenebra_uk]

See, you already had the answer! :biggringr

[Understudy]

I prefered my inital solution..... :devil:

[tenebra_uk]

Bah, I'd still prefer inflicting paing rather than watching somebody commit suicide. :rolleyesa

De gustibus non est disputandum

[Understudy]

Well thats just you isn't it...:dark:

On an individual basis, I'd me more interested in seeing someone nailed to 240v than just run around on fire. :tonguegre

If you'd like, you could fire the nail gun yourself, and thus inflicting the pain, but you'd have to firstly find a way of making someone hold still, and secondly be careful that your victim doesn't grab you when the current kicks in....:rolleyesa

[Warspite]

You could wear plimsolls while you do it, thus negating the need to run away just as the nails hit the ring mains:lightbulb

[tenebra_uk]

Nails, current...:rolleyesa Let's be more efficient, a good slam with the sledgy in the neck and it's all done :biggringr

[Understudy]

I thought you wanted to inflict pain....

Sledgy : swing, blat, scream, dead.

Nail gun through hand into power socket : bang, scream, bang, scream, bang, scream, bzzzerrrt, screeeeaaaammm, bzzzerrrt, scream, dead.

:dark: :devil:

[tenebra_uk]

You obviously don't master the art of the sledgy: calculate the angle, measure the strength with great care and you can achieve all sorts of results, from mighty bump to mild concussion or instant death :biggringr

Years of practice pay back :tonguegre

[Understudy]

Surely the whole point of a sledgehammer is to hit something as hard as physically possible....

Its not exactly surgical now is it, a lump of metal on a stick :lightbulb

[tenebra_uk]

Anybody can be precise with a scalpel, it's with a sledgy that you show your skills :biggringr

[Understudy]

I'll take your sledgy, and I'll raise you a flak cannon and a minigun :biggringr

[tenebra_uk]

I need that cd first :cry:

[Warspite]

Just thought i'd pouint out that so far i only got patch 2255 and the Epic bonus pack isnatlled, and I aint had no problems with UT yet. Travis B tried to connect to our server last night, and got an error about "announcer voice mismatch". He has the DE bonus pack installed as well - so I would avoid that one for now Tenny.

Oh, and I'll raise you both with a Redeemer, and then do a death from above and pull the trigger at point blank range :D

[Understudy]

The announcer voice is only on the client..... The new voices come with the Epic Bonus Pack, which I have installed and have no problems with..... I know fluxx has both Epic and DE packs installed, like me..... Has Travis got the 2225 patch loaded?:confused:

[Warspite]

Yes, but he has probably cracked it to do something dangerous - I'll tell him to reinstall UT. I might have a bash tonight, but I have to fill ina job appliaction first:frownblue hate job appliaction forms:(

[tenebra_uk]

I should be home at 9ish tonight - I'm viewing a £150k shoebox after work, it's not going to take me long :rolleyesa

[Warspite]

Wow, thats a whole 55 THOUSAND whole English pounds more than my shoebox! The difference alone would buy you a luxury family home in a really nice part of New zealand:cry: Lets all emigrate:cry:

[tenebra_uk]

I bet your shoebox has more than 1 bedroom and it's not falling apart :frownblue

[Warspite]

Aww mate! Move!! London is NOT Britain - there are some staggeringly nice places to live outside of The Smoke you know. Want me to send you the Rough Guide to the UK?:D Ther are parts with, like, green stuff, and even Britons:eek:

[tenebra_uk]

The Smoke has still got its charm :biggringr And anyway, my boys still need me :lightbulb