Food Fight

[Warspite]

Its an oldie-but-goldie!!!

*Fires a devastating broadside of steamed treacle puddings at every living being within 17 miles*

Official note - ALL Fray Bentos products MUST be removed from tins BEFORE being thrown at any unarmoured board members.

[Tommy Gun]

i.e. me.....

also, have you left orbit.....cos if your in space......your at least 62miles from earth.....and so 17miles is just nothingness you are firing at.....
(am i taking this too seriously.....)


nothing can beat my brussel sprout machine gun, with a scope so i can aim at your mouth to poison you with them.......

also, you may see me pouring HP sauce on the floor......slippage hopeful.......

[RottenRevenant]

Originally posted by Warspite
Its an oldie-but-goldie!!!

*Fires a devastating broadside of steamed treacle puddings at every living being within 17 miles*

Official note - ALL Fray Bentos products MUST be removed from tins BEFORE being thrown at any unarmoured board members.

*removes the broadside of steamed treacle puddings from face*
What !? *throws some rot apples back at the ship*

[Warspite]

Rotten apples? Is that all you got punk, is that all you got??!!!:weirdblue

* Loads a frozen beef carcase into X turret, and fires at Rotten at point blank elevation*

Tommy lets just assume I'm sub-orbital right now OK? A food fight in zero G would contravene too many safety regulations. And a bombardment from orbit would be a tad extreme in a food fight,IMHO:lightbulb

[RottenRevenant]

You mortals dare challenging the Revenant !? FEAR MY WRATH !!
*Slips over HP sauce while seeking cover from Warspites food cannons*
AAAUW ! I'm gonna tell my Mommy ! :cry:

[Warspite]

* Applauds professional grade prat fall by Rotten revenant*

How do you like YOUR beef Tommy? Rare? Or frozen in the middle and super heated by friction on the outside?:D

[Tommy Gun]

oh frozen......wait shouldn't have said that......

*gets face smashed in by rock hard steak at close range*

right, you've bloody done it now.....loads milk bottle grenades......
(the kind that have been in the sun for the last 2 weeks because you forgot to cancel them when you went on holiday)

aim......
*gets a big rusty pile of junk in sights*

FIRE!!!!

[Warspite]

MILK??!!! God that stuff stinks!!Crying out loud!!:madred:

*Screams back into orbit at mach12, and sends 8 frozen cows back to Tommys last known co-ordinates at obscene velocities*

Right - I'm off till tomorrow - no net access outside work at the moment:frownblue
I'll be back when I've scrubbed this milky cheese off.

*Cackles as sensors pick up seismic shock waves at Tommys last known position*

[Tommy Gun]

cor, i'll have a head ache in the morning.......

never new cows could even survive getting pelted through the atmosphere.....now i can continually produce milk.....

fired calcium seeking liver at cheesy battleship.....

[RottenRevenant]

Haha ! You will never find me here ! *hides under a rock*
Pfuh....you two may have a bigger arsenal.I go for Quality...not Quantity!
*arms mayonnaise nuke* EAT THIS !!!!! (literally) :devil:
BWOOOOOOM !!!!!:dark:

[Tommy Gun]

RR walks towards my free cookies stall.......


but they are napalm cookies......muhahahaha......
http://www.foxhome.com/butchcassidy/html/downloads/explosion.jpg




and the ketchup bomb has gone off at Warspite's space dock...see how he likes that when he gets home.....
http://avrtech.home.att.net/antichrist/nuke.gif

[RottenRevenant]

.........:eek:.............*weakened crawls back under stone*
Grmbl........Next time,you wont fool me with your foul tricks Tommy !:madred: *Looks at his toasted hands....* I'll get you for this !!
Hmmmm......Wait till I finished building my burger missiles !
I'll be back !!!:sour: (with food...:lightbulb)

[Tommy Gun]

okay....it that case....
*begins putting the Fray Bentos pies back inside tins ready for aerial bombardment of all rocks....*

[RottenRevenant]

Oh no !
*starts disguising his rock to make it look like a tree...*

[joao]

:eek: Oh my God... You're all crazy...:eek:

[RottenRevenant]

Originally posted by João
:eek: Oh my God... You're all crazy...:eek:

What did you just say !? Take this you pig ! :madred:
*throws a Jelly in Joao's face*

[Tommy Gun]

here take this, honey.......

*throws a beehive at Joao's face....*

back to you......maybe i could start a forest fire with some tobasco sauce.....

[RottenRevenant]

Originally posted by Tommy Gun
here take this, honey.......

*throws a beehive at Joao's face....*

Ehrm Tommy......
Its a food-fight ,and a beehive isnt food .......right ?:confusedb

[Tommy Gun]

no, but it is full of honey, which is a food......duh.....

for that comment you get a custurd tart in the face.......

.....clown style.......

....but rocket propelled at 3000mph........

[RottenRevenant]

&^*&Y^%^*$%^$*&**%&% !Wait till I finished my missiles you turd!
*cowardly crawls back under his tree-stone...* Just leave me here under my stone....:sour:

[Tommy Gun]

can't stop now......blitz time.......coconut style.......:devil::lightbulb

[Warspite]

Coconuts?is that it? you expect me to break orbit for coconuts?:rolleyesa Alright then -anything to keep the kids happy:lightbulb

I'll be the large battleship shaped thing wearing the earplugs - have you any idea how noisy it can be when solid objects start clanging against the hull?:eekblue:

[Tommy Gun]

you've obviously not tasted my coconuts....that didn't sound right......

anyway.......mine have had the milk replaced with about two 5kg pieces of uranium.....

that may make slightly more of a clang on your armour.......

now that you've told me your location......

i've deployed my special forces into your ship.....
they enterered whilst a torpedo tube was open.....

no one can fight my suicidal sheep in ninja suits.....

[Warspite]

Hmmm...lamb chops...:yum:

[Tommy Gun]

noooo....how could you eat them.......they were only following orders........


now this means war....
*sets up some thermite over hull*

hehehe
*floods food storage compartment with extra virgin olive oil*

now all your food is contaminated and will taste of oil......
muhahahaha

[Warspite]

mmm..lamb in rosemary, garlic and olive oil...:yum:

[Tommy Gun]

oh, those poor souls.....

i doubt sending in the youngans will change you mind.....

it's just be mutton chops.....i can't even think about it....:cry:

huh.....
*gets bored throwing items at hull of warspite*

take this.....
*gets out the old milk again....*

coagulate this casein you tin can.....!
*pelts the bridge windows...*

[Alpha_uk]

Have some of this (chucks old brussle sprots at warspite)



Want some more ? (chucks old peice of haggis at warspite)

[Warspite]

You know , after I hose the decks down, I'll be good as new. But if, for instance, YOU were hit by a frozen cow travelling at supersonic speeds, how long do you think it would take to clean you up?:devil:

[Alpha_uk]

Hmmm a week maybe but the stains would take longer hmmmm pherhaps we should join forces for now.

[Warspite]

Good boy - throw things at Tommy and play nice:biggringr

[Alpha_uk]

hmmmm I'm taking a break want some tea warspite?

[RottenRevenant]

I'm Back !!:lightbulb ............................With food !!:dark:
And while you two Co-operating Turds are having a tea break, I'll blast you away with my Mustard-Missiles !!:lightbulb
I hope you turds dont have a weak throad !!*Launches 3 missiles*
I'll spare the other two missiles for Tommy. *dives back under the stone*

[tenebra_uk]

I had to read it twice, for a second I thought you said Mussels missiles :confusedb

[RottenRevenant]

Originally posted by tenebra
I had to read it twice, for a second I thought you said Mussels missiles :confusedb

Hehe......I would need a LOT of Mussels-Missiles to have any effect on a battle ship.......:lightbulb

[Tommy Gun]

NO ALLIANCES!!!!!!

*picks up calf spleen and throws at the back of Alhpa's head*



also, Warspite........i have one thing that will take you down.....

more off-milk......

you can hose down the decks......but the smell will seem into the hull and you'll stink for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks.............

[Alpha_uk]

So smell is the key ok then have soma this (throws a rotten peice of haggis at Tommy)hahhahaha I hope you like scottish food your going to smell of it for weeks.

[Tommy Gun]

i do like scottish food, so thankyou......:p:

[Alpha_uk]

Incredible even I don't like scottish food.


Grrrrrr that wipes out my smelly haggis assualt .




Ok then have some my poo on toast how do you like that eh

(if he likes this I'll vomit)

[Tommy Gun]

hmm......tastes like crunchy nutella......:yum:

[Alpha_uk]

uhhhhhh....man...I've seen some sick stuff in my jobs but this takes the cake oh no here it comes........uh...uh...uh(runs to the toilet with sickining sounds coming 5 minutes later)

[Tommy Gun]

hehehe......

licks lips of crunchy nutella....and looks at the untouched poo toast......

my plan worked.....:devil:

[Alpha_uk]

NO NOT AGAIN(back to the toilet with more sick sounds)

[ZeebWarrior]

What madness is this?

:bounce:
'Ts fun!

Tommy, you can have celery up your nostrils, Warspite, a can opener for your troubles (with tuna on the handle- so it's still allowed, and may penetrate the hull?)- Alpha, I don't know you, so I'll chuck carrots for now- I'll retain my spuds for further lobbage at Tommy and RR.

[Tommy Gun]

*sneezes, sending snotty celery back at Zeeb's face at 100mph*

ahh, that's better......

*entertains self by turning tin opener.....*

i here there is a lake of rum inside this rusty tin can....:bounce:

[ZeebWarrior]

Are you saying Warspite drinks too much?
:p:

[Alpha_uk]

Have some of this zeebwarrior(Alpha fires haggis lancher at zeeb)

[Tommy Gun]

Originally posted by ZeebWarrior
Are you saying Warspite drinks too much?
:p:

no, it is a fact, he has a lake of rum inside him.....

as well as a bleeding heart (i wonder who he stole that from though......)



okay, *picks up cow intestines*

hahahahaha walla walla........
*starts strangling Zeeb with bloody intestines*

:lightbulb

[Alpha_uk]

muhahahah thats right tommy now shove them in his mouth

Have this Zeeb(fires moldy tomatos at zeeb)

[Tommy Gun]

you little tyke.....the tomatos sprayed into my face....

*drops Zeeb's purple face*

You can take this....!

*Starts trying to force feed Alpha baby food mush....:devil:*

[Alpha_uk]

Arrrhhhhh (splutter) (cough) have some of this tommy (fires deer eyes at tommy) hahahah want somemore ?(chuckes tomatos at tommy)

[Tommy Gun]

plurrh *starts convulsions*

take this!

*slaps Alpha around the face with cow's testicles*

[Alpha_uk]

arhhhhh not those (Alpha runs away but then turns around with warspites frozen cow lancher) hahhahahah have this tommy (alpha pulls trigger) bye bye!

[Tommy Gun]

*smouldering crator is all that is left*

*except for a hand poking through the rubble.....struggling to get a grip og reality*

*and then it falls limp*

[Alpha_uk]

Yes I win muhahhahahaha now no one can stop me .

[ZeebWarrior]

I could.

But can't be bothered.

:frownblue

[Tommy Gun]

*Warspite's shadow casts over the universe*

spoke too soon.....

[Alpha_uk]

uh oh please don't hurt me warspite I did'nt mean to steal your cow lancher.

[ZeebWarrior]

Too late now...

[Alpha_uk]

Arrrhhhhhhhhhh NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (warspite fires and Alpha is now a bloody mess on the ground)

[Tommy Gun]

lol

you just inflicted virtual pain on yourself, through the persona of a intergalatic battle ship.......


who looks like the nutcase now:rolleyes:

[Alpha_uk]

(cough).....(splutter) .......I'm still alive help me (Alpha collapes over the frozen cow)

[Tommy Gun]

i'm a ghost now, because of you....

so the only thing i can do is resurrect myself so that i can stand by your body AND LAUGH:lolblue::lightbulb:devil:

[Alpha_uk]

Oh god now I'm a ghost hmmm this could work sneaks up behind tommy and hits him with a goey apple.

[Tommy Gun]

i'm still a ghost you nim wit, the apple went straight through me....

oh balls, now you've maybe forget the chant to resurrect myself....

[Alpha_uk]

oh look at that(the apple passes through tommy and hits miyu) whoops.

[Tommy Gun]

lol......

though what was Miyu doing there....

i'm doubt she's going to just sit back and get caught in the cross fire.....:confusedb

[Miyu]

Originally posted by Alpha
oh look at that(the apple passes through tommy and hits miyu) whoops. what the??? :sour: How rude! lol! *takes a watermelon and smashes it on ur head* since ya got a hard head! :tonguegre so na.......

[Alpha_uk]

ow! that hurt have some haggis (haggis splatters on miyu)

[Tommy Gun]

Nasty....

whoops!
*bottle of milk slips out of hands and comes crashing down on alpha'shead*

oh well, just another bottle of yellow and green milk lost......hmmm......smells.....*cough*...*splutter *....not so good....*starts going purple*

[Alpha_uk]

uhhhhhh.........god......you fool...now I'm.....gonna.....(Alpha vomits straight in Tommys face) hahahahaha I may smell like rotten milk but god knows what you smell like.

[Tommy Gun]

oh man, that's disgusting.....*wipes half digested baby food mush off face*

You've really asked for it....

*swallows some TNT*

BOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*everyone gets splattered in Tommy's inerds...*

[Alpha_uk]

Ok that was disgusting (alpha vomits again on tommys severed head)

[Tommy Gun]

the head mutates under the toxic chemicals and becomes another Tommy Gun.....but this time....

100ft tall.....muhahaahahahaha.....

*Tommy Gun starts pelting Zeeb and Alpha with brussel sprouts*

[ZeebWarrior]

Now why do I fear that this isn't the end of Tommy's participation in the food fight?

*throws carrot sticks at random people*

[Alpha_uk]

OH GOD RUN AWAY ARRRRHHHHH!(alpha trys to fire a cow lancher at giant tommy but nothing works)

[ZeebWarrior]

Trip him with a string of sasauges.

[Alpha_uk]

Ok catch zeeb (alpha and zeeb trip giant tommy with string of sausages)it worked hammer him with everythng we got.

[Tommy Gun]

hmm......sausages....*eats trip wire*

thx...:yum:

*Tommy Gun starts picking up Zeebs carrots*

oooo.....i don't feel too good.....

*major indijestion*

[Alpha_uk]

OH GOD DON'T VOMIT ON ME!!!!!

[Tommy Gun]

don't worry
*swallows Calgon*

OH CR*P! THIS ISN'T ANTACID!!!!!!

*starts puching stomach*

man, i don't want to die... again.......

*shoves fingers down throat*

uurrrgggghhhh......*wreches*

*vomits calgon/carrot slurry over Warspite's hull...*

so sorry...:eekblue:........:confusedb

[Alpha_uk]

thank god that did'nt hit me (alpha jumps on to warspite and starts firing the carrot turret)